Anthony
Costabile
I'll never forget
my very first meeting with Avatar Adi Da Samraj. It wasn't at His
Ashram. Nor was it during a scheduled personal audience with Him
or some other pre-arranged engagement. In fact, it wasn't even a
meeting with Him in person. But it was the defining moment of my
early adult life. It happened in 1974.
I was living
in the Denver/Boulder area, which, at the time, was a virtual Mecca
of the new age movement. Ram Dass, Swami Satchidananda, Chogyam
Trungpa, and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi were all approaching superstar
status, and Eastern mysticism and spiritual seeking had become a
thriving sub-culture among Western youth. I was in the habit of
browsing the spiritual bookstores and frequenting the ashrams and
new age centers that proliferated during the era. I found the scene
fascinating, though I was also put off by the pretentious attitudes
and spiritual posturing I encountered.
I, too, was
looking for something beyond the insular emptiness of middle-class
life. But I was not about to settle for anything that could not
reach to the depths of my heart and satisfy my intense spiritual
longing. Nothing I came across on the new age circuit, and nothing
in all the philosophical and spiritual books I read at the time,
spoke convincingly to me. I was acutely sensitive to the disparity
between the intuitive spiritual paths of the East — with their subjective
and inward focus — and the outwardly focused paths of the worldly,
materialistic West None of this was abstract to me. I was emotionally
and spiritually torn between my own inclinations to retreat from
worldly life and the urges I felt to exploit and indulge myself
in every way possible. At last I saw no clear way to reconcile these
opposing impulses.
It was in that
mood that I chanced upon two books by Avatar Adi Da Samraj (then
known by the unlikely name of "Bubba Free John"): The
Knee Of Listening and The
Method Of The Siddhas. I had seen these books side-by-side
in several bookstores, and presumed them to be companion volumes
about Adi Da and His Teaching, but I had never examined either one.
I remember the striking cover photos, however, and recall their
impact on me. The
Knee Of Listening photo captured Adi Da's youthful, radiant
face, the certainty and happiness of His demeanor, and the clearest,
most wide-open, and brilliantly compelling eyes I had ever seen.
But The
Method Of The Siddhas cover struck me as ostentatious and
offensive. There was Adi Da dressed in white and seated cross-legged
on an elevated dais, a flower lei around His neck and enormous arrangements
of flowers on either side of Him. He sat in an ornately carved chair
and gazed into the camera with, it seemed to me, immense arrogance.
I passed both books by, feeling attracted and curious, repelled
and skeptical all at once.
Then one day
in a small bookshop, as I turned my attention to other books on
yoga and spirituality, The
Knee Of Listening suddenly fell — or did it leap? — off
the shelf, landing on the floor in front of my feet! I picked the
book up in surprise, and with a sigh of resignation, as if to say,
"All right, all right, you win," I began to leaf through it, at
last turning to the middle section, which contained a series of
black and white photos.
I was immediately
struck by a silhouetted profile of Adi Da, His right hand open and
upraised, His fingers spread and extended in an obvious gesture
of blessing. The caption underneath simply read, "I Am the Loved
One, I Am Shakti, I Am He." The photo and caption were a complete
communication. It seemed to me that Adi Da was innocently contemplating
the incomprehensible Mystery of His Own Divine Being. And I felt
an inexplicable penetration in my heart, as if I had just been touched
at the deepest level of my feeling. I did not, in that moment, consider
what had happened — I simply bought the book.
In the days
that followed I often returned to that page to ponder the staggering
profundity of the caption and silhouette. Together they communicated
a Mahavakya [literally a "Great Statement or Pronouncement"],
that amounted to Adi Da's Original Avataric Divine Self-Confession
to the world. Intuitively I knew that if this Statement were actually
true — and my heart deeply affirmed to me that it was—then I had
chanced upon the most Miraculous Spiritual Gift and Treasure the
human world has ever known.
Somehow, that
photo, those simple words, and the whole circumstance of my strange
encounter with this book registered as a sudden piercing deep in
my heart. I also noticed a responsive current of energy surging
throughout my whole body. It was the body's means of expressing
a sudden intuitive recognition: "My God, He IS here! Yes! He IS
Really Here!" All of this occurred instantly, as an Epiphany. I
knew that because of Adi Da's appearance here, my own spiritual
destiny — and perhaps that of the entire world—was forever changed
and blessed.
I was soon to
discover that Avatar Adi Da truly was a genuine Guru and Spiritual
Master of ultimate stature, deeper and more profound than any of
the ancient teachers I had read of in college or in the course of
my own private spiritual quest He was also more contemporary, more
informed, more humorous, and infinitely more hip than any other
spiritual teacher of the time (and I had seen a good number of them
on their speaking tours through the Denver/Boulder area). In Adi
Da Samraj, the ancient cultural divisions between East and West
(and the corresponding dilemma in my own life) were resolved. He
offered a Teaching and Way of life that embraces and transcends
both world views, both parts of the body-mind, both contradictory
impulses in the being.
I began reading
Adi Da's Teaching voraciously, marveling that His understanding
of the human condition was more incisive and penetrating — His description
of the nature of God, Truth, and Reality more cogent and straightforward
— than any religious or spiritual teaching I had ever read, past
or present.
There was, I'm
convinced, something far beyond the merely serendipitous in that
first encounter with Adi Da. It was Divine Grace Itself responding
to my inmost plea for spiritual help. Later I discovered a single
sentence in one of Adi Da's Discourses that summarized the significance
of that meeting — not just for me, but for anyone who is suddenly
introduced to Adi Da and His Divine Teaching. It simply read, "Realize
what it is that you have stumbled upon while wandering in the wilderness:
I, Appearing here in your own likeness, Am the Liberating Function
of Real God."
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